Accumulating my feelings in the past 72 hours with the words "bloody crazy!" would be quite fitting. Time and time again, I am reminded at my longings to want to trust people, and when I do- bad things happen. Here in India- I trust no one.
2 days ago, I decided not to hitchhike with my friend to Leh, and stay in Manali for a couple more days. I had great fun instead with my new friend Jane from Ireland, and talking to a Russian and enjoying plum pie and coffee for lunch. I went back to my guesthouse for a quick nap, and woke up and went hiking up the mountain with my new guy friend Boshen. Boshen owns the guesthouse I was staying at, and is a trekking guide who offered to take me up to the only waterfall in Himachial. It was around 5pm and we started hiking up this beautiful mountain trail covered in green ground cover, unripe strawberry plants, orchards and roses. In the mist of the jagged mountains, the sound of cowbells coming up the path, and a dog barking, echoed off the cliff. Clouds settled in the valley, and big majestic snowy peaks towered above.
We made it to the waterfall after talking with a nice old one toothed Indian man- which it stuck out whenever he smiled. He wore a deep red hat with colorful stitching and sky blue blazer. I spoke what little Hindi I knew, and Boshen explained that this man has lived in Manali since birth. He is an excellent trekker, and a friend to everyone. I was pleasantly surprised at the grandfather like vibe coming from the man as he walked away.
The waterfall was huge, and sprayed gallons of water on jagged rocks below. There was a little pool with rushing white water that I had to swim in. The water was so freezing cold, and my lungs heaved for more air. I felt exhilarated. I stood on the rocks next to the water, and let the air and mist soak me thoroughly. Boushen stayed behind a little, not wanting to get completely soaked. It was great fun, and we headed down the mountain with golden clouds making an excellent sunset. Majical.
We stopped by a hindu temple on the way back, which had little stone plates filled with water reflecting the color of the sunset. Quite special. Boushen put a little red powder on my head for good luck, and we talked to a Baba who was sleeping in the temple and making a fire. By now it was dark, and I couldn't see anything. We took turns slipping on cow manure, and laughing. We went to this rasta cafe on the side of the mountain- basically a wooden shack, and there were a group of Nepalis with a tent and a fire. We talked and kept the fire going and thankfully drank hot Chai.
Back at my guesthouse I changed out of wet clothes, and went to meet Jane for dinner at a Korean restaurant. We talked about her carer as an OT, and ate sushi. It was really fun, and 10pm I headed back to my guesthouse. Boushen brought pictures of his family and we had rice beer- which tasted like fermented milk. About 2am in the morning he insisted on coming up to my room and sleeping there- but I insisted he leave and that I was sleeping alone. It's funny how all guys in the end only want one thing. I made him leave the guesthouse, and went to bed.
I woke up the next morning a little groggy, and went out for breakfast at this French owned cafe. I was beating myself up for the night before, staying out so late with a guy. I was basically flirting with fire- putting myself in a bad situation- unintentionally. I read, and journaled a little, then went back to my guesthouse for a small rest. About 2pm yesterday, I stopped by at my other friends house, which the 4 of us had chai and told jokes. I wanted to go for a run so badly to clear my head. Shampoo said he liked to run, and after getting on our gear, we went 14k uphill on the Leh-Manali highway. I was so elated at how incredibly beautiful it was. Shampoo was actually pretty fast for such a short guy. We passed several shops selling skis and ski bibs. At the top of this pass we saw a girl paragliding down this mountain and watched her land in a green valley. It was so fun and incredible. We went back to their flat for a late lunch of subji and rotis with chai. They were watching an Indian version of Rocky, with a few English words. We all laughed at how bad the acting was when it was translated into English.
I went back to my guesthouse for a quick nap, and then planned to go back over to their house for dinner and drinks. I got up and went to the sweet shop to buy some sweets to take over, then the next hour we had fun talking and laughing together. Jane was going to come, and I stopped by her flat to see if she was still wanting to or not. After going back to thier flat, one of the married guys, Sushant, started telling me about their business.
To make a long story short- all of them are designers for a jewelry company. They ship their products to Europe, Australia, and America. The tariffs and tax on exporting from India to America is almost 400,000 thousand dollars. So last night they explained that they could send me to the USA with their jewels, and since I'm taking them- they wouldn't have to pay this huge amount of tax. They wanted me to do it within 5 days. They said they would pay for my plane ticket to the USA, my plane ticked back to India, hotels, food, new business clothes, 9,000 dollars for delivering the jewels, and then a plane ticket back to the USA or anywhere else in the world. My mind was ticking. Actually now, I think back at how stupid I was to actually believe that this was real. Last night I was thinking..... I wrote down the pros and cons of doing this business deal, then went to bed.
Today I met them at 10am as planned. I asked a couple more questions, then called my mom to see what she thought. Talking with my mom always puts things into perspective. She made me think about a couple more things like loosing my citizenship, not making it back to the USA in the future, life in prison... minor details like that. Of course I was skeptical, but now looking back- almost felt brainwashed. I asked more questions then met my friend Jane in the town square. The thing that bothered me is the men said I would have to lie to get the jewels across the border. They would make it look like I had a fake loan to buy the jewels, and also that I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about this business deal.
Oh my goodness- I felt frazzled, and stressed. I asked Jane if we could meet for half an hour. I explained this could either be the best thing I have ever done, with so many opportunities, or ruin my life forever. They wanted to know where I was going, and when I would be back. I told them I was meeting a friend and would be back soon. Gosh- I felt like I was working with the mafia or something. I felt like I was in a movie.
My mind was spinning. I was dressed in black. I saw Jane in the square, and she immediately asked me what was wrong. I quickly explained, and she nodded, took my hand and said "come with me." We went upstairs into her guesthouse, and she pulled out her Lonely planet guide and made me read a page about the jewelry scams in India. Everything the book warned against, the phrases the scammers might use, the promises they make, everything lined up with what my "friends" were telling me. We talked and she suggested that I go to a quiet place and re-think this. I thanked her, and went out to do some research on the internet. The internet cafe's I went to were full, or not working. While crossing the street, I ended up running into and talking to one of the French guys who I met a couple days earlier. Even though the men asked me not to tell anyone about this business deal, I told the whole story to the French guy which he explained that the same thing happened to his good friend. A couple of his mates came over to where we were talking and had some more stories similar to his. At the end of the conversation, he said, "if I were you, I would take my bag, and get far away from their house." I thanked him and started walking back.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that one of the men in the scam had been following me and was watching me talk to the French guys. I swear he gave me a death stare, to which I walked right up to him and said, "I'm out. I don't want to do this." I went back to their flat, packed up my stuff, and left.
I started walking down from the village, and down on a nature path to the main part of town in Old Manali. I walked along the white water river for 1 hour, mind still numb from all the stress earlier. I don't think I will ever understand how much corruption is in this country. Just when I think I've figured this world out- something else evil jumps in my path.
I walked down the road and took a deep breath. Glad to have my freedom back- what ever happened to this idea of free-falling?! I am still trying to refocus my thoughts, and realizing the only person I can trust is myself. So I'm not going to let people persuade me, and push me around. I need to make my plans and go with it. I feel sick to my stomach that something really terrible could have happened tonight or even tomorrow. There's a difference between living life on the edge, and being a fool.
After walking along the river I saw Jane coming down the hill, to which I explained everything. She is going to Leh in a couple of days as well, and we exchanged plans. I crossed over a bridge into Old Manali, almost immediately a guy popped out offering to take me to a good room. I started following him up these steps- like a cow led to the slaughter, then stopped in my tracks. I stopped, and listened to my gut. Then turned around and walked the other way.
In 10 minutes I started walking up the mountain trying to find a guesthouse. I saw this really nice looking blond European guy and asked him where he was staying. He was so helpful and kind, and walked me back to this path with me to show me a place to stay. I thanked him, and walked up to this apple orchard to where there was a little guesthouse in the middle and a little man came out to great me. He showed me a lovely small room, and said he was making chicken later if I wanted so I was welcomed. I relaxed, went up to my room, showered, washed the cow shit off my feet and went up to the rooftop.
This was the first time I actually looked at the mountains in 2 days. I almost started crying. Why do I get so distracted with things that don't matter? To be trapped. I wish for purity, for sanity, and oh goodness, I love the mountains from the very fabric of my being. Just to be free, slow down, and enjoy what is here and what is in the now. To talk in honesty with my creator. I laid on my back looking at the beautiful mountains, and letting the rain touch every part of my soul. I went downstairs, drank some water, and curled up in my warm bed for a little nap and reading.
I feel like I'm still debriefing. Now, I am okay. God is my protector. I was reminded of Proverbs 19:2, "Don't have zeal without knowledge." How enthusiastic I become so easily about something new, and exciting. Yet all the time, I don't really understand what exactly I'm getting myself into. This weakness is also one of my greatest strengths. It allows me to be spontaneous, and communicate positive energy to those around me and not live in the land of deep thoughts.
The past 2 days, I have learned so much. First, don't trust anyone. Second, trust yourself and your instincts. Third, don't spend time alone with a guy- foreigner or local. Forth- understand what you are doing fully before you jump off the cliff. Fifth- being a woman of wisdom doesn't mean just having a bunch of fortune cookie quotes memorized. Wisdom means following advice, listening, and being discerning about everything that comes within one's frame of reference. Sixth- don't smile at men. Seventh- don't give your last name out or worse- phone number. Eighth- don't tell anyone you don't know where you're going.
I can literally feel my character being changed and sculpted. I am getting weary always acting like a bitch when I'm traveling. Staring back hard at guys, answering in harsh no's, walking like a man. It's not easy traveling here in India. Yet, the weird thing is- I love every bit of it! So many times I just have learned to shake my head and laugh while saying, "oh India..." The holy cows eating out of trashcans, the tigers doing namaste, all the Indian men stopping to ask to take my picture, the misspelled menu's, the Baba's eating corn, and doing headstands for hours in the street. The obsession with western culture, yet so dedicated to their own traditions. Every time of day is the time for dancing. The list is endless. I wish I could stay longer here.
Tomorrow the plan is to go to Leh. I'm meeting up with some girl friends, and have a friend from Taiwan coming up in a couple days. I saw the nice English man while I was walking to dinner. He offered to go out for drinks, but I wanted to have my own time. I put some earrings in, and wore my scarf, dressing up and going out to dinner, feeling beautiful for no one else but me. I've had enough of rollercosters for now. Resting and listening to the voice of truth. Now, I'm truly just enjoying being here and soaking it all in.
Actually, when I was talking with my mom on the phone, this little girl beggar came up to me and started asking for Booja, or food. She was holding a little baby in her hands. I was so distracted with this jewelry scam thing, that I didn't take the time to go and buy her food. The baby started crying. Later on, while walking to Old Manali- free from everything, I saw her walking with her 4 sisters, the baby, and her mom carrying a load of sticks on her back. God gave me a second chance to bless them and make it right. I even got to hold the baby, which was sooo cute! They live in Vistash- and in broken English said I was welcomed to come to their shack next time I was in Manali. The purity of a child's smile. The sincerity in thier heart. Their love for a stranger- revels the selfishness in my own heart. Do I toss the stone when they ask for bread? Never.
Refocusing. Why am I here. What is my purpose. What is my calling.
From a clear mind, and a clean heart. Love.
No comments:
Post a Comment