Hello Friendly bloggers,
It's been awhile since my last post- in which time I realize how healthy blogging is for stress reduction and unwinding after a long day.
Today- has been a big day. Currently I have worked 8 days in a row, and am completely exhausted!
I was upstairs on the West hall today, and which is extremely physically demanding. There is an instant stress alarm which goes off in my brain as soon as I step on the floor. Such an adrenaline rush to get every single person on my hall up in their wheelchair, dressed, shaved, taken to the bathroom, and down to breakfast.
This morning I was dragging my feet absent minded peddling down the street to work, glimpsing at the red sunrise hoping for some inspiration to let my mind flee from my tired eyes. The morning time to me is so sacred. I wake at 4:30am every day, lace up my tennies, and go out to the CSU athletic field for some BodyRock interval training.
The sun was just coming up today breaking the gray clouds with a purple line light, and sending warm rays of hope to my eyes. I worked out hard then ran back to my apartment for a quick shower, spritz of pattulii oil, and chai tea with yogurt for breakfast. How I wished to linger a little longer with an extra cup of hot chai, and read more in Esther, yet the clock warned me I better get to work.
After biking up the hill on Shields, I locked my bike up, punched in, passed some nurses in the hall with a "good morning," went to see which hall I was assigned to, and started mentally preparing myself for the hard day ahead as I sprinted up 2 flights of stairs.
Before getting report on my hall, I passed one of the girls who has been half assing a lot of things. Super nice girl, great personality, really willing to help you out, but doesn't really put in any effort if no one is watching. After getting report from her I usually go into rooms only to find supplies isn't stocked, blood pressure cuff is misplaced, or rooms are left with trash galore. She took a swig of her water and smiled at me with a "good morning!" trying to act all perfect. I smiled back yet couldn't hide the look in my eyes in response to her facade- and gave her an expression like- "I know what you're all about." That look tasted so sweet but afterwards I had some remorse.
I started in the Russian's room. He always is the 1st one who likes to get up in the morning. I have to say I really look forward to looking in the patients eyes when I enter the room. I'm there to help them, and do my very best. Their eyes let out a sigh of relief when I enter- like they know they will be taken care of today, and have plenty of love and support. This message communicated is like a big thank you even before the day has begun and a constant remainder of why I am a nursing assistant.
After getting everyone up and down to breakfast, I passed my room trays and making a couple trips back to the kitchen for salt, pepper, and milk. With 10minutes to spare, the nurse gives me 15 blood pressures she needs taken before 8am, and I start finding the people and taking those immediately.
The rest of the day goes by quickly. I take everyone back to their room after breakfast, help them lay down for a nap, and toilet them. By the time I'm finished with my last person, I take a 15 minute lunch break outside, in the sunshine, then head back upstairs to get everyone back up again. The same routine happens after lunch and this time I only have 30minutes to lay everyone down again.
I constantly feel stressed out and mindful of every one's status, yet concentrate on one person at each time. I am always trying to find a balance of being efficient and fast, instead of rushing and pushing people. I hear God's voice through out my days working- telling me to go check on people, offer some cold drink, or just go in and talk with them.
My nurse today was Rachel- a tall brunette graduate of JBU and married to a police officer. She was so helpful, and willing to do anything. She was always asking how I was doing, and if I needed any help. She even emptied a cath today for me after lunch! She was so awesome and an answer to prayer. In the minutes of charting by her nurses cart we talked about traveling, and her mission trips to Jordan, Nicaragua, and the Philippines. It was very refreshing talking to her and being around someone who equally cares about people like I do.
I finished my charting, pretty much exhausted, by the time I biked home I found it difficult to even walk up the stairs. COMPLETELY exhausted I showered as soon as I got home, and crashed for a 3 hour nap. I woke up from a deep sleep my stomach growling for some food.
Walking into my kitchen I served up some homemade hummus- crushed garlic, garbanzo, olive oil, and haldi powder with lemon juice. Delicious from the tangy comforting flavors invigorating to my senses. What was so sweet about that? The fact that I crush all the ingredience by hand reaming the flavors together with the bottom of a glass vitamin bottle and clay pot, or the fact I had just worked myself to the last straw, and the benefits of hard work are defiantly worth enjoying. Cucumber, beets, paneer, and a lassi left me calm and collected, energy coming back to my bones.
Sometimes I wonder what the freaking heck I am doing up here in Colorado, working so hard, making USD, and cleaning poo off of bed sheets, taking 15 blood pressures in a row, and discussing "happiness" with a dementia bedridden woman who is frequently combative and suffering with turrets syndrome.
Yet little moments of praying over a man with brain cancer, talking about the weather with a 102 year old lady, and giving a manicure to a woman on hospice, it all becomes crystal clear. Days like today, I still wonder....
Somehow I felt more productive when I owned nothing, and was teaching English for free in 3rd world countries. I felt more productive when I was in Oklahoma going to school and studying towards a degree. Right now I am praying for perspective. Because it seems like all I am doing is working and playing a little in the mountains. My nutrition class is slow coming and I study math for a little every day- yet at the rate I'm going it feels like I will finish my degree in 6 years!!!!!!!!
I am waiting on one letter to send in my petition to the school for residency. Waiting on the Lord, waiting for strength, and power from the power supplier. I tend to fall into a pattern of working a lot, getting totally exhausted then sleeping and then working out. Doing things that I love is almost completely out of the picture because when I work 8 days in a row I'm functioning like an animal.
I spend little time cooking, reading my bible, working out, going on walks and talking with family or friends, because exhaustion takes over and I just have to sleep!
I love my job! It is so rewarding, physically demanding, and I am learning new things about medicine, and the nursing practice every day, yet consider quitting sometimes because it is exhausting me to the point where I look back at this past year and think... "What did I do with my past year but work!"
Then I get frustrated and mad at myself! For just working all the time, and what do I have to show for it- an apartment, a table I pulled out of the trashcan, and sleeping on an air matrise curled up in my sleeping bag. All material things- and I feel trapped sometimes because I made the choice to live up here and study. It's just taking FOREVER!
Ah God please give me a fresh perspective!
I'd have to say this has been one of the strongest years for personal growth. Working at a full time job, having a commitment and sticking to it for a whole year! I remember a year ago tomorrow, I was in Noida India teaching at the YWAM base playing the star spangled banner on the tabla I bought for my little bro. I was at a crossroads, somewhat mindlessly going through life, free of stuff, free of responsibilities, and free from doing anything but loving God, myself and others.
In a way nothing has really changed. I am free from stuff- because I know I don't need that to be happy. I am free from responsibility because I know I am making the CHOICE to give myself an opportunity at working and going to school. I am free to love GOD and myself and others just as I was in India, yet in a different way now. It is more challenging for me now- because I'm having to break though and free myself from the mindset "people in America don't need help."
God will not relent until he has my whole mind, till he has my whole heart, and till he has focused my vision on how he sees the WORLD.
It is almost easier for me to leave my family, live out of a backpack, live off of rice and beans, and sleeping on peoples couches for a life- loving on little Indian babies, and dancing with children, than having nice clothes, living in an apartment with a hot shower, in America, and working at a full time job. Sometimes I think....Gosh! I am becoming the optimum of what I most greatly disagree with! Yet, I KNOW in my heart God has called me here for a reason!
I am HERE for a purpose. I don't know what it is, I don't know what God is doing through me but I choose to believe that, and know in my heart he loves me and if I am where he wants me- I am fulfilling my purpose for this present season of my life.
I am the change in the world because GOD is the change IN me!
3 more days to go of working, and getting up at 4:30am, planning on going to the park for a live music jam tomorrow night for the 4th of July celebration. We shall see, the fireworks have been canceled because of the fire ban in Colorado now.
Missing all my family and friends, wishing I could give you big hugs and kisses!
One of my favorite ladies left today and went to a different rehab facility closer to her home. She is an angel from heaven! Reminds me that we never know how much time we are given with one person- so the time we do have with people is really precious. Make it count!
Cheers.
It's been awhile since my last post- in which time I realize how healthy blogging is for stress reduction and unwinding after a long day.
Today- has been a big day. Currently I have worked 8 days in a row, and am completely exhausted!
I was upstairs on the West hall today, and which is extremely physically demanding. There is an instant stress alarm which goes off in my brain as soon as I step on the floor. Such an adrenaline rush to get every single person on my hall up in their wheelchair, dressed, shaved, taken to the bathroom, and down to breakfast.
This morning I was dragging my feet absent minded peddling down the street to work, glimpsing at the red sunrise hoping for some inspiration to let my mind flee from my tired eyes. The morning time to me is so sacred. I wake at 4:30am every day, lace up my tennies, and go out to the CSU athletic field for some BodyRock interval training.
The sun was just coming up today breaking the gray clouds with a purple line light, and sending warm rays of hope to my eyes. I worked out hard then ran back to my apartment for a quick shower, spritz of pattulii oil, and chai tea with yogurt for breakfast. How I wished to linger a little longer with an extra cup of hot chai, and read more in Esther, yet the clock warned me I better get to work.
After biking up the hill on Shields, I locked my bike up, punched in, passed some nurses in the hall with a "good morning," went to see which hall I was assigned to, and started mentally preparing myself for the hard day ahead as I sprinted up 2 flights of stairs.
Before getting report on my hall, I passed one of the girls who has been half assing a lot of things. Super nice girl, great personality, really willing to help you out, but doesn't really put in any effort if no one is watching. After getting report from her I usually go into rooms only to find supplies isn't stocked, blood pressure cuff is misplaced, or rooms are left with trash galore. She took a swig of her water and smiled at me with a "good morning!" trying to act all perfect. I smiled back yet couldn't hide the look in my eyes in response to her facade- and gave her an expression like- "I know what you're all about." That look tasted so sweet but afterwards I had some remorse.
I started in the Russian's room. He always is the 1st one who likes to get up in the morning. I have to say I really look forward to looking in the patients eyes when I enter the room. I'm there to help them, and do my very best. Their eyes let out a sigh of relief when I enter- like they know they will be taken care of today, and have plenty of love and support. This message communicated is like a big thank you even before the day has begun and a constant remainder of why I am a nursing assistant.
After getting everyone up and down to breakfast, I passed my room trays and making a couple trips back to the kitchen for salt, pepper, and milk. With 10minutes to spare, the nurse gives me 15 blood pressures she needs taken before 8am, and I start finding the people and taking those immediately.
The rest of the day goes by quickly. I take everyone back to their room after breakfast, help them lay down for a nap, and toilet them. By the time I'm finished with my last person, I take a 15 minute lunch break outside, in the sunshine, then head back upstairs to get everyone back up again. The same routine happens after lunch and this time I only have 30minutes to lay everyone down again.
I constantly feel stressed out and mindful of every one's status, yet concentrate on one person at each time. I am always trying to find a balance of being efficient and fast, instead of rushing and pushing people. I hear God's voice through out my days working- telling me to go check on people, offer some cold drink, or just go in and talk with them.
My nurse today was Rachel- a tall brunette graduate of JBU and married to a police officer. She was so helpful, and willing to do anything. She was always asking how I was doing, and if I needed any help. She even emptied a cath today for me after lunch! She was so awesome and an answer to prayer. In the minutes of charting by her nurses cart we talked about traveling, and her mission trips to Jordan, Nicaragua, and the Philippines. It was very refreshing talking to her and being around someone who equally cares about people like I do.
I finished my charting, pretty much exhausted, by the time I biked home I found it difficult to even walk up the stairs. COMPLETELY exhausted I showered as soon as I got home, and crashed for a 3 hour nap. I woke up from a deep sleep my stomach growling for some food.
Walking into my kitchen I served up some homemade hummus- crushed garlic, garbanzo, olive oil, and haldi powder with lemon juice. Delicious from the tangy comforting flavors invigorating to my senses. What was so sweet about that? The fact that I crush all the ingredience by hand reaming the flavors together with the bottom of a glass vitamin bottle and clay pot, or the fact I had just worked myself to the last straw, and the benefits of hard work are defiantly worth enjoying. Cucumber, beets, paneer, and a lassi left me calm and collected, energy coming back to my bones.
Sometimes I wonder what the freaking heck I am doing up here in Colorado, working so hard, making USD, and cleaning poo off of bed sheets, taking 15 blood pressures in a row, and discussing "happiness" with a dementia bedridden woman who is frequently combative and suffering with turrets syndrome.
Yet little moments of praying over a man with brain cancer, talking about the weather with a 102 year old lady, and giving a manicure to a woman on hospice, it all becomes crystal clear. Days like today, I still wonder....
Somehow I felt more productive when I owned nothing, and was teaching English for free in 3rd world countries. I felt more productive when I was in Oklahoma going to school and studying towards a degree. Right now I am praying for perspective. Because it seems like all I am doing is working and playing a little in the mountains. My nutrition class is slow coming and I study math for a little every day- yet at the rate I'm going it feels like I will finish my degree in 6 years!!!!!!!!
I am waiting on one letter to send in my petition to the school for residency. Waiting on the Lord, waiting for strength, and power from the power supplier. I tend to fall into a pattern of working a lot, getting totally exhausted then sleeping and then working out. Doing things that I love is almost completely out of the picture because when I work 8 days in a row I'm functioning like an animal.
I spend little time cooking, reading my bible, working out, going on walks and talking with family or friends, because exhaustion takes over and I just have to sleep!
I love my job! It is so rewarding, physically demanding, and I am learning new things about medicine, and the nursing practice every day, yet consider quitting sometimes because it is exhausting me to the point where I look back at this past year and think... "What did I do with my past year but work!"
Then I get frustrated and mad at myself! For just working all the time, and what do I have to show for it- an apartment, a table I pulled out of the trashcan, and sleeping on an air matrise curled up in my sleeping bag. All material things- and I feel trapped sometimes because I made the choice to live up here and study. It's just taking FOREVER!
Ah God please give me a fresh perspective!
I'd have to say this has been one of the strongest years for personal growth. Working at a full time job, having a commitment and sticking to it for a whole year! I remember a year ago tomorrow, I was in Noida India teaching at the YWAM base playing the star spangled banner on the tabla I bought for my little bro. I was at a crossroads, somewhat mindlessly going through life, free of stuff, free of responsibilities, and free from doing anything but loving God, myself and others.
In a way nothing has really changed. I am free from stuff- because I know I don't need that to be happy. I am free from responsibility because I know I am making the CHOICE to give myself an opportunity at working and going to school. I am free to love GOD and myself and others just as I was in India, yet in a different way now. It is more challenging for me now- because I'm having to break though and free myself from the mindset "people in America don't need help."
God will not relent until he has my whole mind, till he has my whole heart, and till he has focused my vision on how he sees the WORLD.
It is almost easier for me to leave my family, live out of a backpack, live off of rice and beans, and sleeping on peoples couches for a life- loving on little Indian babies, and dancing with children, than having nice clothes, living in an apartment with a hot shower, in America, and working at a full time job. Sometimes I think....Gosh! I am becoming the optimum of what I most greatly disagree with! Yet, I KNOW in my heart God has called me here for a reason!
I am HERE for a purpose. I don't know what it is, I don't know what God is doing through me but I choose to believe that, and know in my heart he loves me and if I am where he wants me- I am fulfilling my purpose for this present season of my life.
I am the change in the world because GOD is the change IN me!
3 more days to go of working, and getting up at 4:30am, planning on going to the park for a live music jam tomorrow night for the 4th of July celebration. We shall see, the fireworks have been canceled because of the fire ban in Colorado now.
Missing all my family and friends, wishing I could give you big hugs and kisses!
One of my favorite ladies left today and went to a different rehab facility closer to her home. She is an angel from heaven! Reminds me that we never know how much time we are given with one person- so the time we do have with people is really precious. Make it count!
Cheers.
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